You are beautiful; It’s true.

Beauty, weight, and “size” are all subjects often banging around the walls of our home.

I try to keep my body self-talk as positive as I possible. Honest, real, and filled with grace for this beautiful body I have been given.

Sometimes though I come up short. It’s a natural habit to fall into. With the media and body pressure of this culture it is easy to fall into the comparison trap. [Which is never healthy and never beneficial.]

I’ve gained weight. There I said it. I said it on this public, open platform we call blogland–or I guess, that I call blogland. Which doesn’t really matter. So I’ve gained weight? Who gives a flying duck? Why are we still talking about this? It drives me mad. It unnerves me that it bothers me sometimes and that it bothers the beautiful people I love sometimes…and it bothers me even more when we don’t talk about the lies that we believe. So…here I am. Talking about it…for whatever that’s worth.

Remember when I was severely depressed, my life was falling apart right in front of my eyes, and I was fighting just to stay alive? …well, turns out that you do not want to eat a whole lot when you are in that scary place. It also turns out that emotional eating happens when you begin walking out of that dark scary place. (Not something I endorse but being completely real and authentic with you is.) Plus when you are happy and healthy–generally a little meat finds it way back to your bones.

I feel freer and more liberated than I ever have before. I am enjoying life more than I have in years. I have free time for heaven’s sake!!! That’s outrageous! I have not had free time in years. And when I say years I am not exaggerating. I am baking again. I am doing yoga regularly. My muscles feel stronger than they have in years. And life? …well, life is slowly restoring all of my broken pieces and wounded places. And it is good.

So why in the hell is body and beauty what I am concerned about? I have muscles and hips and that is good.

But sometimes it just gets to you. Whatever “it” is in this culture that causes us to question our beauty, our worth, and the value in the number or letter on our clothes.

It is truly agonizing, this beauty concept. The five year old little girl that I nanny told me she was fat the other day. “Huh?!” was my response. I couldn’t believe it. This tiny little girl who is half the size of most other children her age was calling herself fat. (Her older brother often obsesses about gaining more weight so that he can reach a certain number…but then will also ask if he is fat.)

Where do they get this stuff from?

It is a shame and pity what we are doing to ourselves–and I say “ourselves” because although I cherish unique beauty and am against counting calories and obsessing over diet and food management and am all about listening to your body, feeding your body whole, healthy foods, and allowing indulgence occasionally…I still fall into the trap.

{I whole-heartedly believe that this is a “trap.” The only people who win when we buy into the belief that we are not good enough, that our bodies are not good enough, etc. are the people who are making the products trying to convince us that we need fixing.}

So…here’s the deal. Over the next few weeks I will be categorizing my gratitude and celebrating my every imperfectly perfect body part.

Will you join with me?

Will you turn the volume on the megaphone up and announce to yourself that you are beautiful just as you are today, now, right now, in this moment!?

“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.”