True Self

“If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.” 

{Masaru Emoto, Secret Life of Water}

Have you ever played that “ice-breaker” game where you tell two truths about yourself and one lie and then people are supposed to guess which one is the lie?

I hate that game. And I hate ice-breakers. Can’t we all just have one-on-one coffee dates and discuss what makes our heart beats intimately? Generally speaking I come up with too many truths so that I cannot decide which is the most “exciting” or “unexpected” to go with or I can think of nothing substantially interesting at all to say about myself. [And don’t even get me started on trying to come up with a lie. Ugh.]

I find it most fascinating though, a) which things people choose to tell about themselves and b) which “facts” onlookers believe are true or false.

Despite our best intentions, many times we judge. We judge based on the ink on their arms, the brands they’re wearing, the piercings in their skin, how their hair is styled, what their job is, etc. We are professional judgers of book covers. 

Yet so often the conclusions that we come to are incorrect. [Sometimes they are completely spot on. Stereotypes originate from somewhere for a reason and our innate ability to judge whether someone is safe or threatening is important. But that’s not what this is about.]

In the two truths/one lie game you begin to see people’s prejudices and where they have begun to interpret and size up another. 

We generally don’t “expect” the quiet, unassuming blonde in the corner to be a professional snowboarder.

We put people in boxes. 

A –> A; B –> B; C –> C

We put ourselves into boxes too. 

We subconsciously–and sometimes consciously–decide what are limits are, who we are “supposed” to be, and what we “need” to do. Then we pull out the duck tape and strap ourselves in, along for the ride, to be carried away to the designated destination based on the cardboard we just wrapped ourselves in.

Cardboard boxes are not life giving. They are stifling. Sometimes they end up on the wrong truck and end up someplace you never intended them to be. 

Then you are lost.  

And if you, yourself, have become lost…do you have to know what or who “yourself” is in order to be able to return?

Life moves quickly. One day you are thirteen, acne and school drama are the most severe threats to your world. Adulthood looms so far in the distance that it seems a mystery older people just talk about to scare you into behaving. Life is great (drama-filled probably, but great nonetheless). A few hours later, you wake up on the door step of Adulthood wondering what that college degree was for, working in a job that maybe you love, or maybe you hate, and living each passing day so fast that you have forgotten that sweet appreciation for slowing down and living.

Who you are is important. Labels are irrelevant. The only ones that matter are the ones that you say matter. There is not room nor need for boxes. Life is too big and too short for boxes. You were not meant to live there.

If you were lost, disconnected, and weary…could you return to self? Could you find the ground beneath your two feet right now? Could you peer deep down inside and find you? The you that set out to change the world? The you that had a dream and a belief that you could make that dream come true?

Do you know? Do you know the eyes looking you back in the mirror or have you become so busy, so lost, so jaded, so tired, so weary that you’ve stopped looking in the mirror for fear or concern of what you’ll find?

You are there. Stop. Breath. It’s just life. You are important. You matter. 

There are lies that are as inconspicuous as the bombs in minesweeper (The worlds longest-standing game that people continue to play even though they have no idea what the strategy is.) and even more ample.

Find perspective. Seek your truth. Find God. See the stars. Feel your toes. It’s just a day. You are who you are. 

Love you.

“The core of your 

true self 

is never lost. 

Let go of all the 

pretending and 

the becoming 

you’ve done just 

to belong.

Curl up with your 

rawness and come home. 

You don’t have to 

find yourself; 

you just have to 

let yourself in.” 

{D. Antoinette Foy}