Through both my eyes

“Today I finally overcame….trying to fit the world inside a picture frame.”

Since my return from Africa and examination of the incredibly ridiculous, overwhelming number of pictures I have, I have not been able to keep myself from wondering if I missed out. 

Did I miss a moment, a conversation, a time to play, a time to sing, a moment to listen, a time to dance, a story to tell, a story to hear, a moment to be still, a moment to soak in the glory of the present?

Did I let it slip past me?

Generally speaking, I thoroughly believe that my camera enhances my experience of the present. When I don’t have it with me there is usually some moment that I stop and think, “ah. I wish I could capture that.”

I love knowing that I don’t lose all those little moments simply because the waves of the past swooped them away with the new tide of today. Even while I was in Africa I asked myself if I was staying present and not hiding behind my camera (something that I can do very well), but I didn’t want to hide. I wanted to be fully aware and present for every moment. 

I think I succeeded in many ways, but I’m not too naive to believe that I didn’t miss out on something. 

Since my return, my camera has taken a break. She has sat next to my doorway, where she likes to rest. Normally, she rests there for easy keeping so I can swing her over my shoulder as I run out the door. But now…now she is simply resting.

Resting because I’m taking a few weeks to see the world “through both my eyes.”

So since my camera cannot tell you of the beauty that I have experienced over the past few days, allow me to indulge you in my words that, though may have a more precise experience of the situation, do not convey the beauty a photo might.

Insert: The laughter of a three-year-old as her older brother yells crazily about a puzzle piece they have been on the hunt for. Her giggle is high and loud as she closes her eyes, curls up in a ball, and fights back the tears that dance on her eyelids from the hilarity that is her brother.

Insert: A girl who…just for a moment…forgets her insecurities. For just a mile or two her walk is light, her burden light, her thoughts careless, her soul completely at rest in her Maker’s hands. She isn’t worried about a diet, calories, the mile marker…nope, she has claimed her beauty and wears it with a smile.

Insert: Orange, yellow, red, and gold falling from the sky. Crunchy leaves have begun to fall. The “leaves have already begun to rain,” as my nana would say.

Insert: A friend confiding in another…painful experiences bursting at the seam that seem to eat him alive. But he doesn’t hold them in, he lets them out and not only are the secrets free but he is “free, indeed.”

Insert: A family gathering after having been away for a long time. Everyone speaks at the same time, eleven conversations take place, kids run around making more noise than you previously thought possible, and a life is celebrated. Smiles are everywhere you look because even though distance has separated them…and they seem crazy to the outside world…they love well. They love with purpose.

Insert: Lunch with a friend…her baby at her side. A baby that last time I saw was about the size of a football and now is sitting up in her high chair all by herself eating. That is, she is gnawing away at a pickle and the table and smiling the cutest smile you’ve ever seen.

Insert: Turning on the radio and hearing that song that you just listened to on youtube on your phone because it makes you feel that could you couldn’t wait to get home to listen to it. ::pause:: “Thank you, God, for being so sweet and singing so loudly.”

Insert: An embrace. A hug. Not just any hug. A hug that brings healing. A hug that says… “I need you to forgive me.” “I forgive you.” “I love you so much it hurts.” “My love is overwhelming.” “I’ll (unlike Rose in Titanic) actually never let go.” “Please. Don’t ever let go.” An embrace that says everything you never could. 

Insert: A heart that is so overwhelmed at her Creator’s love and creativity, so amazed at the beauty he gives, astounded at the grace that truly is new with every single sunrise, and thankful for the fact that he chooses her, every single day, every single moment, even before she was able to be chosen.

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Happy Tuesday…with love.

May you see, feel, touch, hear, love, smell, and experience this moment for the gift that it is

…every moment you are given.