the illusion of risk + new 5 min meditation video

Last weekend I had the extreme honor and pleasure of witnessing my baby brother graduate from boot camp, officially becoming a United States Marine.

I am still astonished. Four days later, I look at him barely recognizing his now chiseled jaw and nearly bald head.

What has been even more astonishing than the physical transformation though is the internal shift that seems to have taken place. There is this quiet (albeit slightly confused to be back in the civilian world) peace that has taken up residence within him. My baby brother, who I have watched grow up and flail around in his search for himself seems to have discovered something. Something that he always hoped was there, but just wasn’t quite yet convinced existed for sure. What he seems to have discovered is a self he can respect, a self he deems worthy of respect.

It is incredible.

He has spent the last few days recanting stories of torture, of physical collapse, public humiliation, and a lot of really funny moments that got him through.

The truth is, I think we were all nervous about how he would respond: who would he turn to for strength, where would he pull the courage from? I don’t believe there was any doubt in my family’s mind that he was capable of accomplishing what he did, but simply whether or not he would choose to do it.

As I have listened to all that he has been through it has occurred to me that:

when life starts throwing punches,

we fight back.

The preamble to that fight though, is often anxiety and stress over whether or not we will be able to make it. It usually depends less on our actual track record of survival, which–if you’re here reading this–is pretty impeccable, and depends more on our thoughts and emotions of the upcoming scenario.

 We propel ourselves into the future, obsessing and stressing over how we think we might handle the fight to come. Anticipating how hard something could/is going to be is useless because when life gets hard, you’re going to fight like hell to survive.

When your son gets cancer, you’re going to freak out, have a small meltdown, and then do everything in your power to get him the best treatment possible. When your daughter gets bullied at school, you’re going to bow up like mama bear, come face-to-face with your own insecurities, and then do all that you can to take care of her. When you get into that car accident that leaves you with one less arm than you had previously, you’re going to grieve and rage…and then adjust to life with one arm and kick life’s ass just the same.

My wonderful and wise Nana said to me the other night, 

“Well, Em, I think you’re just going to have to say yes 

whether you feel like you’re worthy or not.”

And I haven’t. I have not felt worthy of a few big decisions/life changes/events that have been lying right in front of me recently. But my nana is right (shocker), all of our feels lie and in life, the best thing we can do for ourselves (and for the world) is to put them in their place and move forward with boldness and bravery. 

Because the truth is, your life is not normally in danger. 

The fear, the anxiety, the uncertainty is a result of your projection into the future. When you look at this moment, chances are, you’ve got this. 

And even if you don’t: God’s got YOU. So how much risk is there really?

Netflix has a new{ish} series called Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt about a girl rescued from a cult after 15 years of life underground. Her new found life of freedom  takes place in NYC. It’s ridiculous. And awesome.

One thing Kimmy learned, a technique of survival you could say, is to ask, “can you make it just 10 more seconds or 10 more times?” when in a hard situation. And whether we realize it or not, that’s what we’ll do when life is hard. We will count to ten because we believe we know we can make it ten more seconds or ten more breaths…until we get to the next ten.

You’re going to survive. 

So while your basic survival is not in jeopardy, enjoy life! Take some risks; take some huge risks! Believe that the world isn’t out to get you and you are free to play and enjoy all that life has to offer!

“I’m not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human.” 

{C. JoyBell C.}

______________________________________

New 5 minute grounding exercise for your meditation happy! Anyone can do this. There is no requirement or skill necessary other than the willingness to try.