social media fast

In the past couple of weeks I have been trying to step away from my phone a little more.

In complete honesty, this is only because I have been attempting to meditate more and have become exceedingly annoyed with my highly distracted brain. Blaming my phone for much of my distractibility obviously led to my attempts to cut back on my screen time. [That combined with the fact that I had even gone so far as to be distracted at night when I clicked my phone on to check the time and would see a notification. Yes, you are allowed to judge me for this. I judge me for this.]

As you know, I currently have no full-time, big kid job or the equivalent of such that would meet what I perceive to be society’s standards of “meaningful” work. 

However, as mentioned yesterday, God has completely provided while in this season of “waiting. Each weekend I have absolutely no idea how I will pay the upcoming bills and by the end of the week I have worked “full-time” hours or more–doing something.

I have nothing to complain about, really. However, I have cried out, begged, and pleaded for guidance, direction, and answers from my Papa Bear up above. {Yes, I’m still talking about God. And yes, I am completely at peace with calling Him my Papa Bear.}

It occurred to me this morning that with the seemingly more “free-time” I have that I could be diving into scripture and spending countless hours in deep, close contact with God. 

But I haven’t. 

I have done my usual devotional/Bible reading and journaling…but nothing that matches the season of “desperation” that I perceive myself to be in.

And to an extent…I blame social media.

I am distracted. My prayers are distracted. My “peace” is distracted.

I am distracted.

And I am not alone as we are a culture of distraction. I attended North Point’s first singles series of the season tonight (post coming soon about how magnificently awkward that was. It’s not them. It’s me, really.). For the record, I went totally solo. I hope you’re all applauding out there because if not then my curtsies over here seem silly and irrelevant.

Solo, people. {Hashtag courage. Because courage. Obviously.}

Anyways, in a completely non-ironical-because-God-always-knows-what-we-need-there-are-no-coincidences-sort-of-way Rodney Anderson spoke about “Being Present” as a way to becoming a better “ME.” 

He nailed it.

All of us screen-addicts out there…he called us out.

Of all of the nougats of goodness that he delved out though, the words that I cannot get out of my brain are these:

“Jesus walked so slowly with people.” He wasn’t making his main point and he stated it almost in passing, but the words have stuck and continue to move {slowly} and dance around my brain hours later.

I want to walk slowly with people. I want to walk slowly, think slowly, sit slowly, and linger slowly with my Father, my Papa Bear.

Rodney acknowledged that our screen time quenches our “desire for connection” and alleviates our “fear of being lonely.”

Truth. Preach, Rodney. 

So tonight I decided something…who am I to expect any answer or direction from God when I have created minimal space for him in my life? Who I am to long for deeper connection and greater connection with those around me when I am lost in superficial connection in the rectangle in the palm of my hand?

So I am going on a social media fast. It’s a fast because it is intentional. I won’t be off moaning and groaning about how lame not being on social media is, but, instead, I’ll be lingering longer and walking slower…

….and writing about it here. Because I love to write. And this is different. This fuels life. This brings life. This connects me to the deeper and the greater of life.

So here I shall be…living.