Not that simple.

Generally speaking, I am a happy person. I try to not let little things get me down. I try not to linger on the negatives of life that I cannot control. I seek the good and when I find it I hold on to it for dear life.

I am not however, Betty Boop, June Cleaver, Minnie Mouse, or any other seemingly always happy figure. There are times when I wake up and think “Eh. I don’t want to do this today.” and my whole day is done.

Yesterday was one such day. Have you ever gone to bed in a not-so-hot mood and woken up in the same condition? …If you haven’t, congratulations to you. Unfortunately, I did.

I struggled throughout my morning wondering why I was so crabby and arguing with myself as to whether or not I had a reason to be so crabby. 

I lost focus whilst teaching Zumba…I blanked. “Do we shimmy up right here? …No we salsa? Or do we do the grasshopper?” Luckily, my girls were gracious enough to humor me as my brain and feet stumbled through a few songs. 

I guess you’re wondering what the point of all this is? Well…the point is eventually I realized I had a choice.

On Wednesday I spoke with one of our librarians, John, who is incredibly brilliant and, like all good librarians, very well read. I am interested in getting into meditation as a form of self-care so we were discussing the purpose and benefits of meditation. He is well practiced in this art and had a lot of advice for me. He told me, (I’m paraphrasing) “The ultimate goal of meditation is to get to a place where you are separate from your thoughts. The imagery I like to use is like your mind is a sky and your thoughts come floating by and you sit with them. You don’t have to agree, or like, or want them there but it doesn’t matter because your thoughts are not you. So you get to a place where you can be still and at peace and allow all those distracting thoughts to float on by. And since in life we are all basically addicted to everything in one way or another…for example chocolate doughnuts…when I have the opportunity to have a chocolate doughnut, I will no longer feel compelled to eat as many as I can. My thoughts may tell me that’s what I want to do, but I no longer feel inclined to believe all of my thoughts anymore because they are not me.” 

(Your feelings on how accurate these statements are are not as important to me as the fact that you see there is a choice in the matter. Your feelings about meditation and spirituality are not something I am trying to sway one way or another.)

For a very long time I have allowed my emotions to dictate my life. How I felt was how I felt and there was nothing you could do about it. Now I am beginning to learn better, because, let’s face it, is anything in life ever really that simple?

Yesterday I chose  to change my attitude. To go to work and be happy, to be at ease, to not be on guard, and to not be upset…and guess what? It was great. 

Yes, that lady still snarled at me for doing something completely right, but wrong in her eyes…and yes, my coworker did undermine my ability to handle customers appropriately…and in customer service, on any given day, the list could go on and on…but is it really that relevant?

At the end of the list of ‘wrongs’ that have been dealt to me. There is a right (that, ironically, can seem so wrong sometimes) that trumps all.

Life. Forgiveness. Grace. A Death to give me Birth.  A perfect Savior.

That is better than any silly, petty, or even big & important thing that gets me down. 

Life isn’t simple. People are insecure. People are mean. People are selfish. People live to protect themselves. And in that living they hurt others, leaving destruction in their wake. People hide within themselves to ensure they don’t get rejected. Because rejection hurts. People put on the face they think others want to see in order to not risk the real pain of being seen. 

Wouldn’t it be better if we each did ourselves and others a favor…and stopped. took a deep breath. and said enough is enough. there has to be something more to this…something beautiful.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. {2 Corinthians 10:5}

Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.

Don’t be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don’t reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you’re only being cute and inviting sacrilege.

Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Here is a simple, rule-of-thumb guide for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you, then grab the initiative and do it for them. {Matthew 7:1-12(MSG)}

Let all that you do be done in love. {1 Corinthians 16:14 (ESV)}

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” {Matthew 11:28-30(MSG); My italics added}