mi amiga el miedo

[There is no significance to my Spanish title except that it makes me happy. “my friend fear” Carry on.]

One of the many amazing people that I follow on the great wide world of social media asked this question the other day:

A seemingly innocent question, but an important one nonetheless.

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Fear, she’s a bitch. We’ve already established that in this corner of the universe. However, as of late, I have begun to question as to whether or not she has gotten a much more horrific rep than she’s worth. 

Often times if we were to embody or personify fear she would be the self-righteous, know-it-all, snooty, playboy bunny, librarian-dressed bitch that looked down her nose at you with that nasty smirk on her face just waiting for you to prove her right so she can say, “I told you so. I told you you would fail. You’re not good enough.” or whatever lie your fear tells you. Other times fear is a towering, mountain man-ox-hybrid-monster whose smile paralyzes us right where we are, lurking in the unknown abyss of life {Yes, these are legitimate thoughts that go through my brain. Yours too? Oh good.}

I was having a conversation with a “life coach” the other day and we were talking about my fear and how my fear plays in my life. Through a few different exercises what I realized is that fear is just an emotion. She is the same juice as happy, anger, giddy, love, etc. As I closed my eyes and paid attention to her and where she was in my body…she lost her know-it-all smirk and her coarse, ox fur softened to that of a kitten. {Again, YES, real thoughts.}

You see…fear only has as much power as we give it. [I am not talking about our innate sense of safety. That is important to listen to when your life is actually in danger, but usually our lives are not literally in danger. It is our egos and pride that fear regularly protects.]

Fear is an informant, just like all of our other emotions. She is friendly in her informative ways. She wants us to know when we’re taking risks and when we are stepping out of our comfort zone. If we are about to do something amazingly big and awesome, she’s going to be there to celebrate with us! She is kind of epic like that. 

So…what if you were friends with your fear? Could you do that? 

Because the truth is that she is never going away. All great people, all big-playing people, and all small-time people experience fear. But a huge chasm lies within the ways that these groups of people tolerate and handle fear. 

So…if you knew you would not fail; if you were friends with fear and trusted the information she was giving you instead of cowering, tensing, and becoming anxious at her presence…what would you do?

Would you agree to go out with that group of friends? Go to lunch with coworkers? Would you stand up to someone at work? Start that business you’ve always dreamed of? Admit to yourself what it actually is that you want out of life? Be honest with yourself about your disappointment with how things are–whether or not you have the power to do anything about it? Would you tell your mama and daddy how you really feel? Or your spouse? Would you stick up to your boss? Stand up for your best friend? Or stop standing up and rescuing others all the time and truly work on yourself?

Would you?  

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