Living IN the moment.

Being in this transitory stage that I am in, it has been rather easy to forget about all the great things going on in my life. I realize if you read my last post it may not seem that way, because I was so clearly excited about the things happening right now. However, I unfortunately seem to have gotten a little stuck in what we will call Negativille. Not in an outward, whine, and complain way, but in a more, subtle, stuck-in-my-head sort of way. My thoughts have gotten stuck on tracks of fear, anxiety, doubt, and simply lost in puddles of negativity. But I was reminded yesterday, after a not so subtle emotional break down, that this is life. Period. THIS IS LIFE. Just in case you missed it…today, in this moment, this second, Monday, February 2, 2010…This. Is. Life. So are you living it? Am I? “Well yes, of course I am and of course you are!” you say. Well maybe. I think we all get so caught up in “doing” that we forget to simply “be.” And most importantly we forget to just appreciate. I forget.

Now for a girl full of love and passion for life, I was a little more than upset to realize that I had permitted my tracks of thought to go down this path. This life that I am living right now is so beautiful. If it were over right now…and I was gone in a fit of fear and worry…that would be very disappointing. Fortunately though, I am here and God has blessed me in so many ways that I truly have nothing to fear or worry or stress about. I only have things to be joyful about and elated about! For example:

1. I have a huge God that loves me even though he is bigger than I can imagine. And he cares and already has a plan set in motion for little, small, me. Because of this I can rest assured, without anxiety or fear.

2. I have an incredibly loving boyfriend who, despite all odds, truly gets me. Now, if you were to ask me how this is possible, I would simply tell you that I have no idea. I don’t even get me sometimes. But somehow, someway he gets me, and loves me just the same. WOW! How lucky am I? I am a self-proclaimed crazy person and yet I have not only an incredible, all-powerful God to lead my life, but He has also given me this wonderful friend on earth to physically be next to me and love me every day!!?

3. I have a very wonderful family that loves me unconditionally. (Unconditional…is there anymore to say?)

4. I have some of the best people in the world as my friends. Although many of them are further away than I am used to and would like they are still there! They are beautiful, artistic, funny, loving, kind, crazy, wonderful, and simply…the best.

5. God has put some amazing adult friends in my life as well. They don’t fall into the #4 list because they play a different role in my life. They are leaders that help me when I get lost, wise words when I don’t know what to do, a strong helping hand when I think I’m in too deep. I owe much gratitude to these people who have helped shape me into a much better and wiser person.

Any room for complaints there? Nope. There shouldn’t be atleast. I think sometimes because I am such a ‘doer’ and a ‘fixer’ and a ‘planner’ that I get WAY to caught up in the next thing…whatever that may be. But why? Why is it so important that there always be a next big thing? I think my “thing” is pretty fantastic right now. So this is the deal…to live for the moment and in the moment. Plans and goals have a good place in my life, but they are being prioritized below the now that is my life.

***Woo…pause for a moment. *sigh* Let that one sink in and resonate for a moment.***

Moving on…I have heard back from both my references for my job that I interviewed for and they both said my chances sounded great and they sang my praises. Thank goodness for that! Eesh! One of the men even said that he told them I “walk on water.” Ha! (He would be one of those incredible people who fall into #5) Sooo hopefully I will have some good news soon!

Lastly, I am finally getting around to that responsibility chat I wanted to tell you about. First, I would like to send out a little thank you to my pastor.

Dear Mr. Andy Stanley… I would like to send you my deepest gratitude for the insightful, educated, enlightened, and eloquent manner that you delivered your most recent message at NPCC. It struck me at the heart. God’s powerful words were heard with the utmost power and impact. Thank you for allowing God to use you as such a vessel of his word and meaning to so many people. I know that I truly appreciate it as I am sure hundreds of others do as well. Sincerely, me.

Now that that is out of the way…his points on responsibility. (Just a few things I would like to share.)

– You will be most happy when you are being responsible for your life.

– Whenever you don’t take care of your responsibilities, they don’t disappear. Eventually someone has to come along and pick up the slack. It’s not neutral.

– You reap what you sow. Whether for the good, bad, or indifferent, it comes around. It is a principle. This principle does not change.

– You reap later and greater. It is not fair or balanced. The reaping will always be more than you think is fair. And you can’t fool God to try to tip the scales; it’s not a game.

– The unevenness of life becomes our excuse for responsibility. “She had more opportunity.” “His family had more money.” “His family life was incredible, he doesn’t know hard.” Sound familiar?

– And most importantly…All our wealth (in whatever form it may be in) is only on loan to us, and we have been entrusted with part of God’s wealth…one day we will have to give an account of what we did with it…so are you being responsible for whatever it is you have? Big or small?

This is just a little piece of what God revealed through Andy in this message but I won’t ramble any longer to explain deeper. HOWEVER, I do highly suggest you go to www.NPCC.org to watch the messages and at least read Matthew 25:14-30 to better understand the last part.

AND listen to Matthew West’s “The Motions” You won’t be sorry you took the time. I promise.

Good night!

xxxoo -impractical dreaming.