01 Aug Integrity + Courage
So it seems it is August already. Half of the year has already slipped through our fingertips; a multitude of moments forgotten or not, completely irretrievable. I can hardly believe it.
I am just curious…have you ever experienced crisis? Before you answer too quickly, let me help you out a little bit.
Some days…I have a “hair crisis.” Some days I have a “I really want to wear this cute, lovely dress I completely forgot I own and it’s perfect for this occasion, but I didn’t shave (…for approximately the past four days) and now I can’t wear it! crisis.” Other days I have an “everything is going wrong” sort of crisis. I have had a “car accident that lead to an emergency room visit” crisis. I have never experienced a “mid life crisis,” though I am young so I make no guarantees that it couldn’t happen eventually.
But my question references not any of the aforementioned.
I want to know…have you ever experienced a sequence of events so traumatic, terrifying, confusing, overwhelming, and seemingly, unbelievable that they threatened to completely destroy you, your world, and every belief system you thought you held? This isn’t a small moment in time, like a nick in your windshield from the rock the truck in front of you threw at you. The nick that will slowly expand and become more and more damaging with time, so slowly that you barely notice it’s changing. No, this my friends is the steady, hard-pounding, standing out in the middle of a softball-size hail storm with no shelter or tree in sight, falling asleep from exhaustion, then semi waking up only to find you’re not dreaming and it’s still pouring.
Some could call it theatrics or dramatics, but I would argue against that. Nevertheless, I have been experiencing such said crisis in my own life for the past few months.
The details are unimportant at the moment, though I am sure curious minds want to know–to which I say, all in good time my dear friends. What is important is the response though. Your response — to the question: “what’s next?”
I’ve been asked a lot lately, in this current crisis season, “so what’s your next step?” The honest reply many days is simply “breathing,” but what about when there is more? Or when there simply needs to be more?
What do you do? How do you face crisis with integrity? Is it even possible? If you know the crisis experience I am describing then I assume you recognize that there come many moments of choice during this season.
To choose forward motion or backwards motion? The choice to move at all. To get out of bed? To smile or not to smile? To weep or to scream? To hide or to show up? To say it or to hide it away? To give into shame or to shout with pride? To hope or not to hope? …you get the idea.
The ins and outs of a crisis are, by their nature, overwhelming so I think to make just one of those decisions in a day is an accomplishment,. So where do we linger? Which choice is the most important one to make in a day?
I have chosen to sit daily with whether or not to maintain my own integrity versus lashing out and giving the world and others what I believe they rightfully deserve. I have also sat with…discovering what courage looks like. Two questions that have shaped my breath to breath movement through this crisis.
Integrity: Webster says, “a firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values: incorruptibility.”
Courage: “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”
Oh my, how I love that definition, Mr. Webster, thank you! To persevere…yes! To face, with moral strength [and integrity, one could say] difficulty and fear!
When the shit hits the fan…who are you? We often don’t question this; we assume we will always be the heroine or hero in our own story, the one who “shows up” and does good. It seems it would be an incorrigible concept, but I think we’re wrong. I think we only know how we’ll respond when we’re given the “opportunity” if you will. And then–we must decide. When you’re there, your life will depend on it.
The title of Brene Brown’s book “Daring Greatly” comes from a line in a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt. Though it is a little lengthy to this already winded post, I would like to share it with you.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly who errs, who comes short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and short coming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly…”
I think this is a painfully beautiful combination of words to adequately (and forcefully) slap you on the face and challenge you to live bigger and better…and more courageously–in crisis or otherwise.
I have a very dear friend named Teddy who has been a blessing to my existence here on this earth since our first meeting in 2010. He has propped me up over the past few years many times–to say the least.
I would like to share with you how he has been daring greatly, showing up, and fighting courageously. (I know some of you–my over analytic therapist friends–think I am copping out of continuing to tell you my story and changing the topic. I assure you, this is all relative and you will get your theatrical story from me with due time.)
Despite his own crisis, he has fought with me through mine. He has loved me well through his own pain. I would love for you to take a minute and watch his beautiful video about his story of daring greatly in a time of crisis. And even consider helping him raise funds to continue fighting through his battle. The man is built with integrity. (Oh, and just for fun, he’s also awesome, just so you know! And the proud fiance to a beautiful, sweet young woman!) You’re going to love him, I just know it.
Click>>>here<<<to watch!
I’ll be in and out here sporadically the next few weeks…I promise not as scarcely as this past month though. The ole blog is getting a face lift and thus, I will be preparing all of my love letters to you, my phantom internet friends, offline for a little bit during construction. I will be back in full gear with more of this crazy story called my “beautifully, broken and blessed life” in a few weeks though.
Much love and virtual hugs to you, my friends.
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