great friendships

There is something special about the stillness of morning, the quiet hum of dawn. It is as if the Earth gets one last, long cat stretch–reaching her arms way up to the sky, arching her back, and curling her toes–just before she is consumed by the frantic energy of the world. 

I have no problem extorting such lackadaisical contentment.

My brain breathes better in this space.

This morning is quiet and I can sense that something is in the air. I blame the cinnamon brooms I smelled as I walked out of Kroger last night and the leaves I discovered in small piles on the ground around my parking space yesterday.

Autumn is imminently upon us, people. 

[Global warming, extreme climate change. It’s a thing. Holy Moly.] 

You will find no complaints here. Autumn and I are like the most epic BFFLs {best friends for life} in the history of BFFLs. Autumn is that season that I would actually be okay being roommates with. I’d like to take her out for tea and snuggle up reading books together all day, lounging in the warm sun spots, watching shadows elongate. 

{Did Autumn just change genders? Maybe she’s a he. I’m not sure. Either way…we’re friends.}

Just like mornings, Autumn always makes me more pensive. It as if the cooling weather gives me permission to sink a little deeper into my own skin, retreating from socializing so much. When there is less of an opportunity for pool parties and sun-bathing, apparently introversion is more acceptable.

In my pensive state, I have been thinking a lot about friendship. 

A friend said the other day, “[friendship] just shouldn’t be that hard. Good friendships are easy.“

Good friendships take hard work at times, but are not hard.

Great friends can pick up where they left off.

Great friends don’t need to hear all of your excuses. They already know and just want to hear your heart.

Great friendships, like all great relationships, have the hard conversations and dwell in the gray of life…without condemnation.

Great friends assume the best and ask questions later. 

Great friends give and take, without keeping score, knowing that, in the end, it all balances out. Because you do your part and I do mine…whether I am in a season of drought or you are.

Great friendships have accountability and permission–even if sometimes disgruntled–to call you on your bullshit. That’s a great friend’s job.

Great friends are easy. Easy because you are known and received. 

When you are known for who you truly are and welcomed in that same vein…things change. Freedom is found and grace is abundant. Honesty comes naturally as does forgiveness.

With each year that passes, every Autumn that comes back around, I am constantly amazed at the amount of people who continue to stick around with not great friends. People have many reasons to do so and I am certainly not one to judge. People do what they do.

However, because I have seen the large gap separating those who are capable of being great friends and those who are not, I am exceedingly grateful for those great friends in my life. 

You would think that as you get older this would become easier, there would be more great friends to choose from. False. Remember: age is simply numerical digits associated with the amount of time a person’s body has been on this Earth. It gives no more legitimacy to a person’s emotional health than the telephone number you dial to call me gives me status and stature. 

Great friends are important. They are the nectar of life. Great friends–whether a brother, sister, spouse, childhood friend, college friend–are the frosting on the cake of life. Sure, you can have cake without frosting, but then your layers become irrelevant and your “cake” becomes a sweet bread. You can do life without great friends…but it makes less sense and is much harder. 

Have you hugged your great friends lately? 

I think you should today.

Cheers to great friends.

…to all of you Pumpkin Spice Latte fanatics out there…it is still August. Careful. We still have 3 more months to go. Oh, who am I kidding!? WE ONLY HAVE 3 MONTHS! JUST THREE! Go get your pumpkin spice on. Today. And Tomorrow. And probably twice on Sundays because…pumpkin spice. Go. Now.