Flying by the Seat of My Pants

Anyways…since I have returned my financial status has really hit me. My financial status being that I have bills to pay, that savings I’ve been living off of is almost gone, and that great job (that I am thankful for and love!) has been rather slow business. 6-7 hours a week does not financially stable make. Aaand I have recently been struck with this overwhelming desire to simply be with the boy of my dreams. And well…he’s broke too.

It’s become sort of an issue though…my desire to be a bride and a wife simply because…well I don’t really know why. Well maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have always been one of those people that once I decide I want something, I want it then. It doesn’t matter if the shoes are actually 1/2 a size too small, waiting for them to ship another pair in is simply too much to ask for. It doesn’t matter if everyone else thinks it stupid, waiting for them to change their minds and catch up is also…too much to ask. So here I am, wanting and shockingly ready to get married!!? Can you believe it? I honestly can’t. I’ve seen so many failed marriages that I had given up…but hear I am, dreaming of white…and the green to fund it.

The boy’s parents are leaving us behind, well I guess they’re really more leaving him behind. So he has to pack up and ship out to somewhere…why not be with me? It’s a valid point if you ask me. I know not everyone feels the same. My perfect plan was for him to graduate, me to graduate, then badda bing badda boom…a wedding. Well fortunately I have this really awesome Heavenly Father who looked at that plan and thought…”Emily, if only I was that small-minded.” I don’t know what he has in mind, but it certainly doesn’t look like it’s “Emily’s perfect little plan wrapped with a ribbon on top.” I’m thankful for that though…I have never been filled with so much joy or love in my life! It’s absolutely incredible! Although I am decidedly ready for the next step, I am totally enjoying the anxiety of the crescendo! It’s beautiful. I told one of my older co-workers about our plans and our dilemmas and his face beamed with excitement…to my surprise. He burst with excitement at my excitement at the thought of a wedding! He said (rather emphatically) “Emily! That is so beautiful! I am just so excited for you…do you have any idea how God will bless your plans, decisions, and sacrifices for each other!!? I think that is great…I can’t wait to see what happens!” …The sacrifices he’s talking about is one of us…or rather me…not going to school until the boy is done. He’s taking the nice and steady track to make sure he doesn’t miss anything. Or mostly because he’s still sorting it all out (aren’t we all?)…what he’s going to do, where he wants to go, etc. Nothing like a little dose of life to get your heart racing and your blood pumping! So there is a wedding sometime in my future…and that’s pretty stinking cool. I…er we…decided to virtually plan the entire thing before it actually happens in hopes of getting the ‘rents blessing…and love…and financial support for one last sha-bang! So if you have any suggestions on caterers, florists, do-it-yourself tools, I am one big open ear! Yay!

Can I just say one thing though?

…Okay…I’m going to say it.

Growing up is the strangest thing. I don’t feel like I should be twenty-two and feeling the way I’m feeling. I feel like I should be sitting behind the wheel of my red blazer, singing country songs, heading to Sequoyah High School, thinking I know it all, and figuring out what I don’t with my best friends. But I’m not. All of a sudden I’m an adult and life is flying by at a speed I’ve never hit before!I’ve heard that doesn’t change…so watch out world! Ready or not…here I come.

In other news, I still haven’t applied for Richmont. My application is due on May 1st. Do you know when my GSU application was in? A MONTH before deadline. Yes. A month. I have two weeks now. Two weeks to edit my…what we will favorably call, lacking application essay, and write two scholarship essays! Bah. My head has been a little clouded with other things, can you imagine? Life is funny that way. The minute you think you’ve got it all worked out. NOT. God still knows better. And you…and I still don’t! Thank goodness for that though. Gosh. If the world was run by one of us…well I guess we kind of get a glimpse of that with our government huh? …That’s kind of scary!