04 Jan Fear. Pain. Love. And other yucky stuff.
Posted at 01:37h
in
blog
by Emily Lorin
Unfortunately with the holidays being crazy, my blog missed all the excitement and happiness that came along with them! …For the record though, My b-day celebration was wonderful and some of my most favorite people were able to celebrate with me. And New Years was excitedly spent in the mountains of Pigeon Forge with a lot of family…fun…crazy.
So Happy 2011 to everyone! May blessings and joy follow you every day!
Now…back to the current state of affairs in my heart.
Whether everyone admits it or not we all have a dark side. We all have something that creeps in at the most inopportune moments, in the dark, when you’re alone, and twists your stomach into knots. It may be big or small but if you’re human it’s there. I am not unlike the rest of the world and my mind has this dark side. You can call it Satan, the Enemy, negative energy, what have you…but it’s there. I believe the things I have struggled with have become bigger as I have grown. Shedding the carefree skin of my younger years and meeting the fear and anxiety of…well life.
I have been struggling with God lately…accepting that I am His special and precious child…I mean really. (We’ve been over this…It doesn’t make any sense.)
So as I have continued contemplating, struggling, thinking, wondering, over-analyzing I would really like to say WTF Satan!!? You really piss me off. You and your band of bad angels suck. For the record my God is bigger, better, and greater than you will ever be bad. So just because I am struggling now does not mean you win, will ever win, or that you even get a chance. I know it may appear otherwise sometimes, but that’s just not going to happen.
So in all of these cryptic complaints and quasi-confession time I have this to say…
Dear Satan and darkness that finds my weak links in the most I least expect it-
I dedicate this one to you.
I know I can’t take one more step towards you
Cause all that’s waiting is regret
And don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most.
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are
I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time
And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are
And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
Cause you broke all your promises.
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back
And who do you think you are
Running ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all.
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
(ps. Props to Christna Perri for an incredibly artist and not cheesy video.)
And this is for me…and the world…and the people I love. And the people I’ve hurt. And the people who are just hurting. The people who have had their hearts crushed. The people who are scared. The people who are blind. The people who hide.
This is for you.
So you thought you had to keep this up(I did.)
All the work that you do
So we think that you’re good
And you can’t believe it’s not enough(Nope)
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside
So let ’em fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark
Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won’t disappear
So let it fall down
There’s freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We’re here now
We’re here now, oh
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark
Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don’t fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us
This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you’re broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark
My apologies if my posts have been dark lately (I can’t remember) but I find the urge and time to wright when I have a lot on my mind…A peppy and light blog post shall pop up in the future soon.
Love.
KJM
Posted at 03:37h, 04 JanuaryI love you…and your heart…and your openness/willingness to just say it (what everyone is thinking that is) I could go on, but I won't…I'm just glad that we're friends and that Brian has shown his beautiful face again!
Impractical Dreaming
Posted at 04:25h, 06 JanuaryYou're 100% special in my heart…thank you.