#2: know where your identity lies

While in Africa we taught on one bible verse for the entire camp. I could tell it to you in my sleep.

Psalm 139: 14…

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

I sang it. I shouted it. I thought it. I whispered it. Most importantly…I taught it’s value to a multitude of kids. 

“You are wonderful. God made you with a special fingerprint that is completely unique to you. He gave you such a beautiful voice. You  are so kind, God really made you so fantastic…”

And for as many times as I spoke about and explained why each child was so precious and wonderful…something didn’t connect.

The past few weeks I have found myself questioning things I did not even realize I questioned. For example…thinking that no one I love could love me as much as I love them…because it’s me. If I believe that my worth truly comes from above and is intricately woven into every fiber of my being would I be downplaying the love that others have for me? If I truly accepted that my closest friends loved me dearly because I am wonderfully made, would I twist their motives into something other than genuine goodness or kindness?

Probably. Not.

So…even though I thought I was at a great point emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and had grown so much in the past year…looks like good ol’ G-o-d is persistent that I get this message oh-so-important message.

So what does He do? It’s those darn 3-5-year-olds again.

This morning I arrive at Waumba Land and my four-year-olds have a new message and bible verse for the month of October. And yes, as a volunteer leader you are supposed to know this material before hand and be prepared for the morning, but I like to wing it and am good on the fly…so imagine my surprise when my eyes land on this…

“I know that I am special

I know because

God made me special

Because of His great love 

He made my arms and legs, so I could swim 

and run

Iʼll swim, swim, swim, and run, run, run

Of me God made just one 

He made me with a mouth, so I could laugh and sing 

Ha, ha, ha… La, la, la

Iʼve been specially made by Him”

Seriously, God? I quickly informed Him that I did not find this to be a coincidence at all and would gladly bask in this message, if He would just help me. Help me with my unbelief. Help me with my acceptance. Help me to know down deep in my deepest core who has created and for what purpose and where my identity lies.

You see being a twenty-something-year-old can be so confusing. First there is the whole college thing where you think you have the world completely at your feet and you have it absolutely figured out. You turn 21, party, do stupid things, realize there are consequences, graduate, are proud, and then what? Then you find a job and discover the real world generally isn’t as great as you anticipated (and certainly not as mind-blowingly awesome as college) or you discover that “History” isn’t really a major that you can do something with so you start all over again in graduate school or start running bingo games at your local moose cabin for elders. 

And then there is 25. The only exciting thing about 25 is your insurance goes down…supposedly. Woo hoo! But for so many twenty-somethings your insurance goes down, but daddy stops paying for it. Oops…that’s actually a big leap up. Plus you’re half way to OLD (read: thirty!).You didn’t even think you’d make it past 23 and suddenly you find yourself halfway to thirty. Aren’t thirty-people grown-ups? Does that mean you have to become one now too?

Careers. Girlfriends. Boyfriends. Parents. Siblings. Moving out. Moving in. Establishing yourself. Getting some respect. All these things can drive you a little mad as you navigate the what-ifs and how-tos and when do I?s of twenty-something world.

Really…it’s just all a big recipe for an identity crisis if you ask me. A little post graduate blues + a couple of bad interviews someone forgot to warn you about + being twenty-something definitely = melt down. 

Or maybe that’s just me? Not that I have had one, of course. You would know by now anyways, because I can’t keep stuff like that a secret. Or maybe it’s not and we’re all really living off the slogan “fake it till you make it,” which is really not a very exciting or happy way to live when you really get down to it.

My point?

…as you navigate through this weird, awesome, fun, exciting, strange, and often times awkward ten years of your life…keep in mind your identity isn’t made by the letters at the end of your name, or the company listed under your email, the car you drive, the income you have, the bod you’ve built from spending entirely too much time at the gym and not enjoying that delicious piece of chocolate cake I probably ate for you…

Your identity…my twenty-something-friend…lies above.  

Lesson #2: know where your identity lies.