04 Apr Sunday Blues
When I was younger (and even still sometimes now) I would get really anxious on Sunday evenings. I don’t know if it was the knowledge that tomorrow I had to return back to what was sometimes the mundane, sometimes the exciting, and sometimes just the chaotic. Sundays are my favorite days now. I love my church and getting to teach my precious little 4-year-olds about Jesus’s HUGE love for them, going to church with the boy, and long lazy afternoons filled with yummy food and long naps.
Lately though, I haven’t had time to do said Sunday things and it has made me very sad. Today was no different. I did get to go see my little kids though, and that was great! Then it was on to school work and the whirlwind of this time of year. The afternoon and evenings’ events have left me flabbergasted, frustrated and disheartened.
My current mood can be summarized in the three following songs:
Jimmy Eat World: A Praise Chorus
Amy Grant: Better Than A Hallelujah
They each compose a piece of what I am feeling right now. Doesn’t make sense to you? …Well that’s okay because you aren’t me and haven’t experienced my day.
Regardless, I am happy to say that instead of turning on the television or turning up loud music so I could just scream ( 
I’m thinking I should invest in a punching bag…seems like it would be an effective way to release frustration and anxiety…anyways) when I was no longer in the mood do to school work I opened my bible. Turns out it is very efficient at calming my heart. (Imagine that!!?) Psalm 139 is one of my favorites. Sometimes I forget that it’s one of my favorites because I become all-consumed in my little insignificant world, but not tonight. Allow me to share…(Not my typical NIV, but NLT instead…NIV only whispered to me tonight, NLT screamed at me) Pay attention…it’s good. 😉
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.
and the light around me to become night—
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.
Darkness and light are the same to you.
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
before a single day had passed.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!
Get out of my life, you murderers!
They blaspheme you;
your enemies misuse your name.
O Lord, shouldn’t I hate those who hate you?
Shouldn’t I despise those who oppose you?
Yes, I hate them with total hatred,
for your enemies are my enemies.
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Isn’t that just great? I think so.
That’s all…good night, friends. I hope you have a beautiful Monday. May your heart be filled with sunshine and your nose immune to pollen.
And here are some pictures of my little cousin…just because she is so yummy.
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