23 Jun el miedo
Posted at 02:57h
in
blog
by Emily Lorin
When I was in high school and undergrad I took Spanish every semester. I loved learning new vocabulary and new verbage every week. One semester my professor (in a novel stroke of genius) gave us commands the entire semester and we were to follow these commands. Learning is doing would be the philosophy that class lived by. And it was true. It stuck. I still know levantate…means get/stand up, I won’t forget it.
As I learned Spanish there was one things I never got over in accomplishing a new language.
The fear.
The fear of screwing up and making a fool out of myself.
Of saying something wrong, being confused and uncomfortable.
As a recovering perfectionist, this was very outside of my comfort bubble.
As I look back on the moments (that were mostly learning moments where mistakes were acceptable) I regret the chances I didn’t take. I regret the opportunities I missed to learn and do more…because I was afraid.
I’ve discovered…or maybe the correct thing to say is become more aware of (again)…that the same fear that stopped me from taking risks in learning a new language still plague me today.
In the past week I have had crippling fear over…
…traffic on the downtown connector (legit feared for my life)
…messing up a hypothetical marriage (it’s true, I have issues)
…not being good enough to do something at school
…a new group of friends at school not accepting me
And those are just the big things…that doesn’t include silly things like the fear that I will forget to brush my teeth or shave or do an assignment.
Fear is everywhere.
And I don’t think it’s just in my little world.
This past week I taught swimming lessons…I have never heard the words “I’m scared.” so many times in my entire life.
Scared of what?
“Dying…drowning”
One little girl even screamed at me “I JUST WANT JESUS…I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!” With a statement like that one might believe that there was some sort of new torture technique in the realm of teaching swimming lessons, but I assure you there is not. The closest we came to torture was jumping off the diving board and diving for sticks.
My point is…fear is all around. Your fear may be one less meaningful to big life interactions…but quite as debilitating. For example, the other day at work my coworker throws a drink on the ground and can’t speak. Being recently burned I (stupidly) immediately asked “ARE YOU BURNED?” (even though I saw the ice pour out of the cup when it landed). As I’m watching their hands shake and their eyes get bigger by the second…I slowly see their foot moving out of my peripheral vision…and then…STOMP.
One less spider in the world.
Folks, this spider was the size of my pinky finger nail.
Fear.
It will stop you in your tracks.
Make you throw your sanity right to the ground.
And shake until everything no longer makes sense.
There is only one way to calm my big, huge fears that can eat my insides and take over my every action.
For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.{2 Timothy 1:7}
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.{Isaiah 41:10}
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me? {Psalm 56:3-4}
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.{1 John 4:18}
The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.{Psalm 18:2}
I can do all things through him who strengthens me.{Philippians 4:13}
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. {Philippians 4:6}
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.{Proverbs 3:5-7}
And that gives me courage and strength to take the big leaps…
…even when it’s scary.
I cannot be in control and make things safe for me.
I have to trust that Someone is always going to catch me.
And that Someone…never fails.
He is solid as a rock.
In the end…everything is always okay. And usually…better than my plans ever allowed for.
…And better than ever expected.
So what is it that you don’t want to regret not doing today?
Don’t let fear of…”what ifs” get in your way. They’re not worth it. And they won’t change a single thing.
Dream impractically.
KJM
Posted at 03:20h, 23 Juneim glad we're friends
EmilyLorin
Posted at 02:34h, 18 OctoberMe too. (sorry I'm late đŸ˜‰ )