#7: oftentimes you don’t get to know

You go through life with a lot of questions. 

Why is the sky blue? Are we there yet? Where do babies come from? Will sitting too close to the TV really make me go blind? If I make this face too long will it get stuck?

From the time we are able to speak, we begin forming questions. We continuously seek an answer to something.

Sometimes we question out of curiosity. Other times fear. Sometimes we want to increase our knowledge. And some other (rare) times in our lives we’re just nosy. 

I think the weight of questions are unfairly tipped to the twenties. Ever noticed how people in their fifties seem more chill and easy going? Sure, they still have questions, but don’t so desperately seek for answers. They don’t have to. (At least they don’t seem to. I’ll ask the next fifty year old I speak with.)

When you’re twenty there are a million different directions to go in, one thousand and one ways to shape your life.

You must stick to a major and graduate from college. Pick a career. Pick a life. Pick a direction. Pick a destiny. Pick path. Pick a girl. Pick a guy. Pick a school. Pick a state. Pick a church. Pick friends. Pick a personality you’re proud of. Pick hobbies. Pick habits. Pick a credit card company. Pick an insurance company. Pick a PC or pick a Mac. Pick a hybrid or an F250.

And a midst all this picking, one must resist the desire to sit around and just pick your nose while life flies by you.

This morning I was in class and my professor handed out packets in folders that were blue, green, red, and black. My choice. I got to pick. Green is my second favorite color, falling only slightly behind purple. (Unless, of course, we’re speaking of my favorite colors to wear in which case gray wins every. single. time.) So normally, I would naturally go for green. 

This morning it was black.

As I questioned what that meant (because in therapyland everything means something) my friend told me she thought it meant that I was contemplative. I think she nailed it on the head.

Contemplative. But not simply your regular contemplative. Contemplative thrown in with a side of moody, swirled with some joy, slathered with love, and all piled on top of a big fat bed of questions.

So as I sorted…or more like wandered…through my thoughts for the day, I was faced with the harsh, cold, unfortunately cruel reality that sometimes…you don’t get to know.

Sometimes the answers only come later. And as much as it sucks right now…there is a purpose.

Who wants to know the ending of the story before the climax anyways? (And if you tell me that you’re one of those strange people who reads the ending of a book before you start it I will personally request your address, track you down wherever you are, and slap you. Because that’s just wrong.)

So, to my dear twenty-something-year-old, you are not alone in your questioning. Embrace the questions, but know that answers may not come. You may have to simply wade through them and wait for the next moment and then the next and then after you’ve gotten into a groove you will realize…you’ve found your answers.

#7: Oftentimes you don’t get to know…but that’s okay.