24: grieve shattered expectations…

If there is one thing I have learned since becoming a twenty something it is that life is never what you expect it will be.

You know how when you’re a kiddo you can’t wait to be a teenager?  Then when you get there you want to be fifteen so at least you can practice driving. And then there is the beloved sixteen and the easily forgotten twenty-first, and the only thing anyone really gets excited for after that is twenty-five when your car insurance (supposedly) goes down. The reason we so look forward to the next big thing is, foremost, because we are not so great at living in the present (which is an entirely different post altogether) but also because each of those birthdays offers a new heaping spoonful of expectations. 

You’ve watched the movies, read the books, and you think you know what it is going to be all about. You can’t wait to get there.

But what happens when you get there and things aren’t what you expect?

Sometimes this is a gift because the great Story-writer upstairs has much more goodness in store for you than you could ever have imagined. Other times though, your expectations are met and shattered with utter disappointment. 

Then what?

What happens when you have plans…well laid plans…for how your future, your career, your family, your relationships, your life, you education, or anything else you ever have expectations for…should go…and then none of it comes to fruition? Not only does it not come to fruition but it backslides into the underworld of disappointment, pain, and hurt?

My dear twenty-something year old…sometimes this happens. Sometimes it’s because you have distorted or unrealistic expectations for these broken people in this broken world. Other times…things just get messed up. You don’t get to have that dream job or girl or guy or lifestyle and maybe you have to fight against yourself to correct some things you’ve seen skewed. People fail. Crap happens. 

Your heart breaks.

And even though you know it must be impossible…the world moves on without ever flinching.

Your twenties are filled with moments for newer and greater expectations and with this, an even greater number of times for your expectations to be shattered.

When they get crushed (because unfortunately, they will at some point along the journey)…allow yourself time to grieve. Grieve that the world is not what you thought it was. That it isn’t dreamy and picture perfect all the time. Grieve that we live in a very broken world. Forgive yourself for when you simply get it wrong and hold the bar too high for imperfect people in imperfect situations.

Let your heart bend…but not break. Do not become bitter and disheartened because your expectations slapped you in the face. As your heart bends it will grow if you let it, friend.

And do not forget to let your heart hope again. 

Hope to accept the world as it is…

hope to “take, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as you would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right

if you surrender to His Will;

That you may be reasonably happy in this life 

and supremely happy with Him

Forever in the next.” (taken from The Serenity Prayer)

I love you twenty-something-year-old.

24: grieve shattered expectations…