Bali, Fortaleza, Sevilla, & Rome…

I’ve been uninspired lately.

 It doesn’t really make any sense considering that I’m getting married and have been 100% perfectly overwhelmed by beauty, love, and passion the past few months. Somewhere between the planning and the fact that school still has to be tended to though, my brain has been in overdrive. 

I reach this point in every semester (regardless of wedding planning) [and especially the Spring semester when summer breezes call to me from the window] where I become painfully aware of my long for more. School loses it’s ability to fulfill. I become bored and anxious for more than what my days have to offer. 

Suddenly the world becomes to big and I too little to just sit back and not seek more, do more, experience more, travel more, bake more, photograph more, and feel more.

Ironically…I think it is my ‘doing more’ that put me out of commission for two weeks with a stomach bug…then a sinus infection…and a root canal to top it all off. Just for good measure. 

But it wasn’t the right kind of more.

I know the arrival of Spring, the promise of a semester almost finished, brings more opportunities to do the things that I love…like porch sitting (& dining), baking, and anything that has to do with food really. But I want it now! (That was my inner 5-yr-old. Pardon me. I can’t always contain her.)

So what do I do? Well I start watching movies like Eat. Pray. Love., The Tourist, and Midnight in Paris and wishing away the moments when I can travel and eat and be as free as a stallion.

I want Bali, Fortaleza (Brazil), Sevilla (Spain), and Rome!

(Are you hearing any delusion in any of this? Because I’m certainly not.)

I find myself longing for bike rides by a (currently non-existent) river, and dinner parties with friends (that are too busy to have one lunch date, much less a whole dinner party night).

In a world that I can’t grasp onto just yet…my nights are filled not with left overs in front of a computer screen, with a television going somewhere…but are filled with the scent of baking flour, the smell of bread being baking in the over, a plenitude of white wine, chocolate being melted for a new dessert, friends that are not stressed out over school, and a hubby who’s mine…and who will all go take bike rides with me at sunset (in any country of my choosing, might I add). 

Ah ::sigh::

I think part of my self-care is the mini vacay I take in my brain when I pretend that is the life I lead. (Is that normal? …who says I’m here to judge?)

Until then…I’ll stay right here in this moment. Sinus infection and all.

I’ll look forward to tomorrow and the day when those things become a reality.

But I will enjoy today…

…for all it’s own beauty that it brings.

{Read: Two sick fiances watching Space Jam on a Friday night. I’ll take it!}

Happy Friday…may your Easter weekend be filled with reminders of the incredible blessings in your life and the beautiful Savior who made true life possible.

And a little token of Eddie Vedder goodness for you.