Suffocated by love…

Have you ever felt love so overwhelming it actually caused your heart to ache?

Well…I have. It wasn’t for a thing, it wasn’t for a relationship, or even moment. 

If you’ve experienced this pain then you know it can be almost unbearable.

Nothing can elicit this emotion so quickly as the music of  Olafur Arnalds. (That “o” up there has an accent mark, but tonight I’m feeling incompetent.)

It could be that the music is simply so painfully beautiful or that it’s the person I associate it with…but it has left me curled up in the middle of my kitchen floor (my chosen place to cry), tears streaming down my face, and unable to feel anything but the feeling of drowning in a sea of blissfulness more than once.

It’s a love hate relationship between this feeling and myself. Knowing I have opened myself up so fully that in a moment I could be taken out entirely, but in that same vulnerability is the availability to be loved completely.

It becomes so much that you just want to scream, you want that person to know, to understand, to feel how completely they have impacted, shaped, and formed your world.

You want them to feel that love and for them to get how overwhelmingly cherished they are.

As you can imagine…not all people have this effect on me. In fact, most don’t.

However…I am a very lucky girl and there are multiple people in my life who have been so influential and have so shaped me by their love and willingness to give that I can’t help but be suffocated by the love that gives me life. 

The problem is…this heart-pounding, drowning in grace, holy smokes kind of love has little room in the busy lives we lead and sometimes I wonder if all the people who I just want to scream, “I FREAKIN’ LOVE YOU! No. Really. YOU HAVE CHANGED MY WORLD. Thank you.” I wonder if they all know.

This is for you. You soul-savers. You heart-revivers. You inspirers. You love without quitting ever-ers.

This is for you. For your love…well, it keeps the world in motion.