daily manna.

Do you know the story of Moses leading God’s people out of Egypt? 

In a nutshell–God’s people were slaves in Egypt, under the reign of Pharoah. God sent Moses to free His people, despite that Moses stuttered and was not at all confident in his ability to complete such a task.

Long story really, really short…God does exactly what He said He would do and delivers His people from Egypt, you know, by parting the Red Sea and all. No big deal. Then, in a major plot twist, instead of His people proceeding directly to the Holy Land, they are afraid and unfaithful and [eventually] are punished by God, set to wander in the desert for 40 years so that none of the unfaithful entered the land God promised.  

But they were not left for dead those 40 years. Every day God provided. The were provided food every morning and told to gather enough for the day, not excess for it would rot, so that they were fully cared for that day alone.  

They called this provision manna and they ate this way for 40 years before they entered Canaan. 

Many times I have read this story and, as a younger person specifically, thought, “how silly of those Israelites! God clearly keeps His promises! Why do they keep grumbling and second guessing His faithfulness and trustworthiness!?”

As a young (more self-righteousness and completely naive) girl I thought I would never be that way and treat God so rudely. I mean, God is clearly awesome and faithful, right? Why would I ever live so bitterly and whiny as the Israelites did?!

I’d slap me for you if I could. I know. 

Sometimes life does not afford us the circumstances to confront our need for daily manna. Sometimes we are afforded seasons that we are allowed to completely deluge ourselves into believing that we are self-sufficient. Other seasons–the ones that hurt the worst, but are, ultimately, the best for us–confront us forcefully and painfully that we are not in control, we are not self-sufficient. And, in fact, we are desperately in need for something, someone, other than ourselves.

I am an Israelite. I’d like to tell you otherwise, but I would be lying to you and I don’t like to do that. 

What I failed to realize as a child was that it is so little about who God is and so much about my human brokenness when I doubt and grumble and flail about at my obvious lack of control or “comfort.” 

In this season–this one where much is up in the air, bills still need paid, dreams still long to be pursued, and time continues to drift in and out as certain as the tide–only one thing can be certain: 

God is faithful.

God is faithful and sometimes I get restless. God is faithful and sometimes I doubt. God is faithful and sometimes I am impatient. God is faithful and sometimes I fight for the comfort of illusion that I am in control. God is faithful and sometimes I long for my, shitty, known, plan over the unknown of God’s magnificent, glorious, and eternal plan.

Though these may seem like contradictions, I do not believe that they are. Despite my desire at times to change my brokenness, remove my flesh, and become something other-worldly and perhaps more God-like…I am a broken, human, daughter of the King, born into sin, wrapped in grace and mercy, and made as an image-bearer of God Himself. 

My brokenness does not change because God makes me whole. Being made whole in Christ does not equate to being Christ, even in my faith. (Can I get an amen?)

Some days are hard. Some days the confrontation with the world and it’s darkness is too much. Some days my will, my desires, and my drive to keep up with the pace of the world conflicts with waiting for manna in the morning. Sometimes it conflicts with trusting that I can rest on the seventh day because God provided enough on the sixth.

I want to grab the reigns and rock and roll. {Where to? Doing what? …I’m not entirely sure…but something entirely epic that will end in utter failure… of that I am sure.}

We are not a culture of slowing down or patience. We are a culture of instant gratification, control, and pursuant determination.

[Though it sometimes–many times–comes at a cost.] 

Last time I forged ahead, two guns blazing, ready to conquer the world on my own terms…I ended up almost dead in an abusive marriage.

Sometimes we know the right direction to go. Sometimes we just have to move and God blesses the path. Sometimes we have to wait, be still, and patient.

Maybe you’re there. Maybe you’re like the hundreds of others who have listened to Andy’s “In the Meantime” series and both laughed and cried as he has stood on stage talking about you and your life.

Maybe…who am I to say.

What I do know is this and this alone…in the meantime…there is manna.

I may not be in Canaan. You may be wandering in the desert. I may long for the comfort of at least knowing my daily pain of slavery over the unknown of tomorrow. You may grumble and doubt that the God who parted the Red Sea can actually take care of you right now…

but

…in the meantime…there is manna…for today.