one word that i think should be removed from your vocabulary

sometimes i wish that i could keep my “people” from making mistakes.

i wish that i could open up their brains, pour in everything that life has taught me & allow us both to carry on wiser, stronger, & completely more awesome lives. obviously.

but i can’t. 

sometimes it makes me sad. 

but it makes me sad only because it brings me back to the realization {reminder} that i am in control of nothing & that i would {still} like to be in control of so much.

{cue the lesson that teaches me more humility & surrender. {????? are you puzzled as to what sort of magnanimous life circumstances that would have to be. yes. me too.} in all fairness, i am learning. okay? God is bigger than my humanness…and yours too. moving on.}

i can’t dump the contents of my brain into yours. or into my sweet friend who is twenty-one & in love. 

goodness, i can hear so much of myself in her.

i can’t for my brother. who is 18. 

& well…he’s my brother who is 18, what more is there to explain.

here is what i know…we need life lessons. we are supremely thick-headed and forgetful. 

my friend told me today:

“the rules never change.”

God reigns. His mercies are new. His grace is enough. we always need it. and–God willing–we grow somewhere in between all of the fumbling around.

the rules don’t change. we still need to surrender. He still has “it” {read: the plan for our lives} better than we do. & we continue to need to be reminded of how dependent we actually are.

since i know that no matter what i do or say…you’re going to do whatever it is that you deem wise, appropriate, acceptable–or simply fun–anyways, i shall simply find contentment, sitting here, & telling you the little bit i do know.

for tonight…it’s a simple lesson…one word that i think should be removed from your vocabulary.

are you ready?

….never….

just five little letters that can mean so much.

let me tell you why i believe this word needs to be removed from our vocabularies:

it just gets us into so much trouble & self-loathing, shaming, & guilt-triping

[the first big “never” i can recall proclaiming in my life?

“i will never say bad words.”

well damn. i certainly bumfuzzled that one.]

the second “never” proclamation?

…”i will never get divorced. ever.”

& well…you know how that ended.

here is what i know: convince satan that there is something that you are convinced will completely &  forever separate you from the love of God {even if that isn’t your surface level belief} & boy, oh boy, is he just all over that.

we set ourselves up when we allow ourselves to believe that we are not susceptible to something. 

Brene Brown says it this way:

“when we don’t acknowledge how and where we’re tender, 

we’re more at risk of being hurt.”

& then, when we fall into our own trap & graciously need forgiveness….God is slow to anger and faithful to forgive, yes?

but our own self-condemnation is not always so faithful & quick to let go.

usually when we say “never,” chances are we are making a judgment call of some sorts on our lives, something has stirred something so meaningful that we proclaim, 

“i will never!”

“i will never smoke.”

“i will never cheat.”

“i will never make that mistake again.”

“i will never be so stupid.”

“i will never go there…”

placing the “safeguard” of “never” around something, only allows you to convince your psyche that it is no longer a possibility, leaving you wide open for attack.

it does nothing to actually ensure that what you are wanting to happen or not to happen will end up as you plan.

you {generally} have no idea where life is going to take you…placing a judgment call on what you think you may or may not do is, more or less, asking for disappointment & much more need for self-forgiveness later.

there is enough in life to be concerned about, grieve over, and hustle against…that your own self-proclaimed {and often naive} notions will only take up the time you will want back later in life.

certainly i have concluded that the only time to use the word “never” is in belting out this T. Swift song.

so stop throwing “never” around as if its the worlds latest fad…

chances are you probably won’t…but remembering with keen awareness of how fragile your humanity is, how easily we are persuaded & convinced, & how tantalizing wrong-that-feels-so-right can be…only keeps you wiser against the things you want in your life.

Apply your heart to instruction

and your ear to words of knowledge.

{proverbs 23:12}