“time, why you punish me?”

there
is this recurring conversation that I cannot seem to get away from
these days and it centers around one thing:

time. 

and
how there simply is never enough of it. or there is too much of it.

not
enough time to pursue dreams. not enough time to write the book. not
enough time to pursue passions. or too much time waiting. waiting for
the phone call that says, “you’re okay” or “you’re not
okay.” waiting for the test results. waiting to get to the next
season of life. waiting for this storm to pass. waiting to get married. waiting to get divorced. waiting to get pregnant. waiting for the kids to graduate. waiting. not enough hours to
get everything done. not enough time to try to get pregnant. not
enough time to linger with the kids. too much time worrying. too much
time wasted. running out of time to achieve the next thing. running
out of time to get an education. running out of time to run.

there
always seems to be too much or too little, but never just enough. 

the
funny thing is that…there is always the same amount of time. we all
have twenty-four hours in a day, sixty minutes in an hour, and sixty
seconds in a minute. 

it
never changes. yet there is this palpable pressure to squeeze out the life of every second of every day not necessarily in the most healthy, productive, in enjoyable way possible, but in whatever pressure-filled expectations we are chasing for the moment.

i
would like to let you in on a little secret, maybe you’ve heard it
before and forgotten. maybe you’ve heard it before and ignored it,
but here it is:

YOU
ARE NOT RUNNING OUT OF TIME.

life
is not going to pass you by–unless you continue counting the
minutes, the seconds until you are at the next place of life, doing
the next thing you wanted to do, wishing you were already on to
the next next  thing you want. 

this is going to
hurt for some of you, but here’s the thing…

you
are exactly where you need to be.

before
you begin your but, Emilys, hear me out.

have
you ever watched a great movie or read a good story?

of
course, you have.

what
if that movie or story began in the final scene or the last couple of
chapters without you knowing any of the story, any of the struggle,
any of the failure that came before the climax and ending? how would
you feel? 

I
know how you would feel: the same way you feel when you look at
someone else’s life or season and wish your way out of your world and
into theirs. that’s how you would feel.

but
we know that’s not the heroes story. and it’s not yours either.

“we
are wired for struggle,” and this struggle teaches us. the quiet
spaces, the down spaces, the in-between spaces, they all teach us.

they
are for growing, learning, blossoming, refining skills, knowing self,
and letting go of all the junk that keeps us from getting where we
want to go.

they
are not for torturing you, playing mind games with you, or for God to
taunt you with all the things you don’t have, or that you wish were differently. 

right
here, in this space where you don’t have the job you want yet, when
you are struggling to make rent because your art hasn’t sold, when
you’re piece-mealing together jobs to make it work, when you’re
living with roommates you wish you didn’t have, when you’re up
half—okay most—of the night with a screaming infant, when you get
rejected, when they said no, when they said “yes” but you can’t
figure out the how, when your in-between time seems exhausted of it
lessons, even still you are just where you need to be.

i’ve said it before, but it
deserves repeating: life is a journey not a list of check marks or
accomplishments. the greatest gift you can give yourself & those
around you is your supreme enjoyment of the present moment.

[[and in case you’re just
checking in here…I have had my own fair share of in-between moments
& am still currently in one, so it is not as if I have no idea
what this feels like. just in case you are tempted to write me off as
crazy because I’ve never been there. no, better than that, I am here
with you now.]]

and isn’t it amazing that
life doesn’t begin {or end} when you figure something out, accomplish
that next goal, complete that one season of parenting, or when you
“feel” like you’re matured & wisdomed out?

today, I hope you give
yourself this gift: the gift of knowing that all is well. you are
right where you need to be. there is a lesson in this madness,
direction in the chaos, and wisdom in the mundane.

be still & perhaps you
will find it.

and if you’re still not digging it & are just having a crummy day: let’s all hold hands and belt out Hootie together, yes? I am confident it will help. 

hugs, you crazy awesome people.

* quote
from Brene Brown

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