permission to be freely

I want
to let you in on a little secret…

You
are amazing. 

But
that’s not the secret, you already know that, right?

The
secret is that you are allowed to believe that
you are amazing!

Is
that weird? Are you owning your right to believe in yourself?

Let’s
see…but first, a story:

The
other night I was getting ready for a photo shoot [me=model, not
photographer] and I had miraculously been provided a steady hand for
the evening so my wing tip eyeliner looked pretty killer (and my fingers weren’t painted black either! win.).

I
smiled at myself in the mirror (which I try to do regularly–more on
that in a sec.) and thought, 

“Damn
girl. Go.”

{There may or may not have been a hip pop, snap, and
a wave. May or may not. One really can’t be sure. These things are tricky you know.}

And
quickly, in one of those indistinguishable neuro-seconds, my mind
retorted something back at me about not being so cocky. 

“Um.
Excuse me, brain. Just trying to conjure up a little confident over here. Don’t mind if I
don’t listen to you.”

I was
completely frustrated at my mind’s own ability to undermine who I am.

Do you
ever do that? Do you ever complete a kick-ass project and for a
moment allow yourself the audacity to jump up and down for joy, pat
yourself on the back, and throw yourself a little party before
someone (your brain or otherwise) retorts some snide comment about
you being cocky or too prideful or “showy,” etc.? Ever
happened? Do you ever play small because you’re afraid of what others
might think if you played as big as you imagined possible? Do you
ever sell yourself short because owning your dreams in all their
glory might just be too damn overwhelming? Have you ever wanted
something so badly and then gotten a taste of it and ran scared
because it seemed too good to be true? Or have you thought to
yourself, “Gosh, I look so great.” or “I really did an
excellent job with this.” and then quickly undermined yourself by examining the minutia
of the “less than perfect?”

As I
began paying attention to my friends conversations and the chatter of
what goes on in the minds of others, I discovered I am not alone in
this power neglecting. 

And,
ladies, I am talking to myself here so don’t get defensive, but we
are the worst about this. We see someone owning their power and we
stick our noses up at their audacity to be so bold &
brazen. We get uncomfortable when confidence walks in the
door, comfortable in her skin, and completely at ease with all that
she is and is not. When we get uncomfortable we do rude and
mean-spirited things. It’s ugly. We must stop this.

So
let’s just be clear about one thing:

You
are permitted to be confident. 

Your
sisters are permitted to be confident.

You
can be confident without being cocky. You can be confident without
being “showy.” You can be proud of who you are, what you’ve
accomplished, and where you’ve come without being self-righteous. You
can love who you are without shaming yourself for not focusing in on your
weaknesses. You can love your sister for her owning her
strength, beauty, & dignity without shaming her for being so bold in who she is.

That
voice that keeps you small, the one that doesn’t allow you to
celebrate too long, the one that says, “but there was thiiiis,
you didn’t get done” or “you still don’t have this,” 

that voice is not your friend and is anything but truth.

Remember
how I said that I try to smile at myself in the mirror everyday? Yes.
It’s true and here’s why:

I am just
as susceptible to the lies of culture and media that you are. The lies
that say I am not good enough just as I am or that I am too this or not
enough that…and all of that is BS. So I smile to remind myself,

“Hey
girl, You’re pretty awesome. Your smile lights the world. You are
going to kill it today. And in the moments you don’t, I’ll still be here to
smile at you…because life just isn’t so dang serious that you can’t
smile at yourself. Go rock it.”

Ridiculous?
No.

There will
always be nay-sayers and our culture may forever be a market-driven
society that is fueled by fear, but you better believe I will go down
swinging. Join me?

 

You are
worth knowing how amazing you are. You are worth feeling comfortable
in owning that power. No one else will do it for you. No one else can
give you the fire that you desire to live by. We can cheer you on. We
can celebrate you. We can see it in you.

You
have to make the choice for yourself though, to step out of culture’s
“never enough” lies to embrace wholly and completely all that you
are, all that you are not, all that you have been, and all that you
are becoming. You’re a freaking beautiful, fiercely strong, powerful,
respectful work in progress.

So
this is your Tuesday reminder: know what you’ve got going on and love
it. This is your permission to OWN how freaking awesome,
lovely, sassy, and impactful you are. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You have spoken, I am listening. There is a project in the works for more sex talks on this page. [We as a church need more dialogue around this topic.] I want to address specifically what you are pondering or talking about.

So…if you could have any question answered about a sex-related topic, what would it be? 

email me at emilylorinlifestyle@gmail.com

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